glowinthedark: ([Emote] Spirit Medium)
[personal profile] glowinthedark
I don’t have a whole lot of control over my life.

It’s a sad fact, but it’s true. Granted, I’ve worked for years to gain at least a small measure of control over my...abilities, I guess you’d call them, but the fact remains that I’m still in an unusual situation. I can block myself out from the spirits, but the second I have to tap that power I’m connected to...I lose a lot of control.

I can’t shut them out permanently. It’s not who I am anymore, the man that didn’t know and couldn’t see. For better or worse...I do have some measure of responsibility to this ability, this connection I’ve been given.

Cindy’s been amazing so far, and more than once already she’s nursed me through a few of the rougher visits from my “clients,” but I know the day is coming when I’ll come up against something bad. Scarier than the woman who tried to kill someone in my skin, scarier than Simon holding my body hostage and a gun to my head.

There’s always something worse out there...worse than even him.

She’s very understanding...but I think the day will come when she asks me to let it all go. And I won’t be able to...no matter where we are as a couple, no matter how much I care. It’s a problem...but even though I act and work like the man I used to be, I’m not him.

I died all those years ago...and I came back, but I came back different. Wrong or right...I’m not the same person. To get my life back...I had to give it to the dead.

It’s something I hope Cindy will always understand...because even though it would kill me to lose her? I can’t turn my back on who and what I am.

Muse: Frank Taylor
Fandom: Haunted
Words: 309
Partner: Cindy Thomas ([livejournal.com profile] ourclubrocks) [Women's Murder Club]

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Frank Taylor

July 2008

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