glowinthedark: ([Island] Voices In The Dark)
Currently, I’m involved in a long-distance relationship? So I’d say I’m willing to put in a good deal of effort. She makes it easy, though, to be honest. I’ve really been surprised how easy it is...visits back and forth, I call her almost every day...and she writes me. A lot. Typical love letter stuff, she even sprays it with her perfume. Says it’s so I have something that smells like her...as if that doesn’t apply to every one of my shirts she steals to wear when she comes to see me.

Still, she writes enough that the place sometimes smells like her, and to be honest? I enjoy that.

The hardest part of our relationship is continuing to grow as a couple when we spend so much time apart. Sometimes those phone calls are hard, because we really make an effort to talk. She tells me about her workload and the cases she handles with her friends, and I try to be as honest as I can about my own caseload...about what I’m seeing and how.

Sometimes she’s been surprisingly helpful. Every day, she’s emailing me some link to a site with helpful hints on meditation, wards against spirits, and info about various types of haunting. Since the day she learned the truth, she’s been so supportive of what I am, what I do...still, it’s hard for me to talk about. The things I see and feel....

And she doesn’t let me keep it from her. Sometimes it bothers me, even pisses me off...but I’m better for it. And I know I do the same to her, I make her talk about whatever’s on her mind. Many a night I’ve been her sounding board on something she would have to hang up on me for so she could call Lindsey or someone to tell them about some new angle she’s just seen.

The hardest thing about being with Cindy is the fact that she takes the pain away, that she makes me leave it. She tears it out of my hands and she makes me better for it. She makes letting go okay...and it’s not an easy thing.

But the longer we’re together, the more I realize that the good things are never easy. She’s proof of that.

Muse: Frank Taylor
Fandom: Haunted
Words: 382
Partner: Cindy Thomas ([livejournal.com profile] ourclubrocks) [Women's Murder Club]
glowinthedark: ([Emote] Spirit Medium)
I don’t have a whole lot of control over my life.

It’s a sad fact, but it’s true. Granted, I’ve worked for years to gain at least a small measure of control over my...abilities, I guess you’d call them, but the fact remains that I’m still in an unusual situation. I can block myself out from the spirits, but the second I have to tap that power I’m connected to...I lose a lot of control.

I can’t shut them out permanently. It’s not who I am anymore, the man that didn’t know and couldn’t see. For better or worse...I do have some measure of responsibility to this ability, this connection I’ve been given.

Cindy’s been amazing so far, and more than once already she’s nursed me through a few of the rougher visits from my “clients,” but I know the day is coming when I’ll come up against something bad. Scarier than the woman who tried to kill someone in my skin, scarier than Simon holding my body hostage and a gun to my head.

There’s always something worse out there...worse than even him.

She’s very understanding...but I think the day will come when she asks me to let it all go. And I won’t be able to...no matter where we are as a couple, no matter how much I care. It’s a problem...but even though I act and work like the man I used to be, I’m not him.

I died all those years ago...and I came back, but I came back different. Wrong or right...I’m not the same person. To get my life back...I had to give it to the dead.

It’s something I hope Cindy will always understand...because even though it would kill me to lose her? I can’t turn my back on who and what I am.

Muse: Frank Taylor
Fandom: Haunted
Words: 309
Partner: Cindy Thomas ([livejournal.com profile] ourclubrocks) [Women's Murder Club]
glowinthedark: ([Name] Looking Good)
Cindy is...nothing like me. Style-wise, I mean. We’re night and day there. She’s just so...full of light. And that’s just not me...hasn’t been for a long time. It’s not something I’m proud of or want...it’s just how it is. It’s one of the reasons I’m so glad that we met...when I’m with her, things aren’t so dark all the time.

She’s all about color and flair...she dresses nicely, she’s got that bright red hair...even her notebooks are splashy and eye-catching. She’s perky and she’s cheerful without being over the top or annoying, and I love that about her.

Me? I’m not exactly the most social of people...haven’t been since I we lost Kevin. I don’t get out much, and my style? I really don’t have one. My wardrobe is functional, my apartment’s livable, if barely...I’m just me. However pathetic that is.

At least...with the exception of my kitchen.

Cindy’s only been down once or twice since we first met...and yeah, got together...but the last time she was here, she was complaining about my kitchen. No curtains, no cute coffee mugs even though I drink a ton, and I thought she was going to have conniptions when she started waving around the hand towel I have in there. It’s green. It’s old, but it’s clean.

She leaves on Sunday to fly back up to San Francisco...and when I get home, she’s left this stack of striped kitchen towels on my counter, all different colors. Clearly I’m meant to use them...or else. I know enough about women to know that.

I don’t know when she’s coming back again...but I am using the towels. And not because I have to.

It’s the only piece of real color in the room...and it’s the only piece of Cindy in the whole house ‘til she visits again.

Muse: Frank Taylor
Fandom: Haunted
Words: 314
Partner: Cindy Thomas ([livejournal.com profile] ourclubrocks) [Women's Murder Club]

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Frank Taylor

July 2008

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