Apr. 4th, 2006

glowinthedark: (Frank So Alone)
I think that to date, the most dangerous thing I’ve done was to commit myself to a mental hospital in order to solve a case. Reason being? Too many people thought I belonged there.

Dante keeps telling me I can’t put this ‘seeing ghosts’ thing on the shelf...can’t take it on and off like a jacket. The asylum made me see just how right he was about that...how all my efforts to separate myself from this gift, making it a ‘part of the job’ was starting to destroy me to the point that even my friends were seeing it.

I went into that place to work...but I think the whole messed-up ordeal was better than all the group therapy I could ever hope to sit through. Jess and Marcus knew why I went in...but when Marcus asked me about my “real” reasons for committing myself, in stung on an odd level. I wasn’t offended or anything...but knowing my best friend thought I was that far gone...in a way, it opened my eyes a little more.

I’m riding a fine line at the moment, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to totally accept this talent I’ve got for touching death...but people think I’m crazy, and I can’t blame them. I’m afraid of ending up in another institution, one I can’t sign myself out of because somebody else put me there.

There’s a balance somewhere in between...and I know I have to find it if I don’t want to end up lost for good.

Muse: Frank Taylor
Fandom: Haunted
Words: 262
glowinthedark: (Frank Sleep)
To me, family is everything. It’s always been a big part of my life, keeping family close to me...though I admit, for a long time a family of my own wasn’t really something I was after. Don’t get me wrong, I was never against the idea, but...the force was my life. I wasn’t too keen on asking any girl to play second fiddle to what I *knew* I wanted.

Then Jessica came into my life.

I knew everything the moment I realized I was in love with her. I wanted it all...marriage, house, kids and a family dog. I wanted more than a career, I wanted a life and I wanted it with her.

When Kevin was born...I realized what family was really all about. In her hospital room, holding that little tiny creature we made together...watching him nurse, and later at home, looking into his crib with Jess beside me...I knew I could kill for it. To preserve them, us...the way I felt when we were all together...

I know it sounds a little messed up, but my family was the first thing in my life that ever really belonged to me...but the same way my arms and legs are mine, the way my fingerprints are mine and absolutely no one else’s.

But in the end, that’s the problem with something that close to you...when you lose an arm or a leg, it’s difficult to learn to live without it.

Me...I’m not sure I ever will.

Muse: Frank Taylor
Fandom: Haunted
Words: 252


glowinthedark: (Default)
Frank Taylor

July 2008

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